How to Tell if a Man is "Marriage Material"?

This is, of course, the age-old question that women have asked themselves for hundreds of years -- as long as women have had the responsibility of choosing their own mates, that is! How can you tell if the man you love will make good marriage material? After all, love and marriage are two completely different things. The personality characteristics that make a man a good lover -- attention to his woman, the ability to give her what she desires, and not just in bed, and other such qualities -- are different than the ones that make a man a good husband and father.

However, it is exactly those qualities which are critical to determine if you are serious about this man and want to know if he will make a good long-term partner. The first important trait is commitment. Is this man able to commit? That is, will he see you through good times and bad? Has he kept the same job for more than a few years, or does he quit and find a new one every few months? Has he had friends for a long time, or does he go through them just as quickly? How does he speak of his past relationships with women, and how did they end? Examine the kinds of commitments he makes to other people and situations, and see how well he keeps them, in order to determine whether or not he will keep his commitment to you.

The second important trait to consider is personal responsibility. Is this man forever blaming other people for the things that go wrong in his life? When the car breaks down, does he yell at the manufacturer, or quietly see whether or not he remembered to get the oil changed last month? This is critical, because it will help to determine just how well, and with what kind of willingness, your future husband will shoulder his responsibilities around the house, whether they involve child-care, financial issues, or household maintenance.

Another critical quality which makes a person marriage material is consideration for others. Does he feel contempt toward other people for their all-too-human errors, or does he have compassion for them? If he cannot ever seem to speak well of other people, you can be sure that he will yell at you if dinner is late one night out of a hundred. If, on the other hand, he speaks kindly of others and is always willing to help out a friend, then you can be sure that on that night when dinner is late, he will ask you if anything is wrong, and offer to take you out to dinner.

Of course, there are many other important characteristics of a man who will make good marriage material, including intelligence, a sense of humor, patience, and so forth. And it is critical to look beneath these traits, these words and behaviors which arise on the surface while dating is still fresh, to examine deeper-running and more important qualities. After all, these are the qualities which will come into play over the long years, when times are tense and you two will have to make tough decisions together. You don't want just a good lover at many times in your marriage; sometimes more important is a good friend. If you believe your man is both a good lover and a good friend, then you do indeed have someone who will make excellent marriage material!