Wife as Partner or Lover: What Men Prefer and Why?

In my opinion man prefers his wife either as partner or lover. It is very important to know the diversity of needs in man and woman and accept it. It is logical and elementary but experience teaches us that many frustrations in married life arise from the evident refusal of admitting our dissimilarity. Thus, when in a couple there is love and the will to live together one can have high expectations and shall be ready to commit himself totally trying to come into one's aid and accepting each other reciprocally. Different sexes imply, as it has been said before, diversity in needs. Unluckily the importance with which they are experienced, sooner or later, leads the couple to tension and the subsequent disappointment comes to light. For this reason it is important to take into account this reality in order to avoid alienation and interior breakdown.

A man needs to be sexually satisfied and attached to his wife. A woman needs to be accepted and understood: she searches for empathy. Not all men are equal neither are all women. The experience, however, has thaught us to distinguish some basic needs in married life, different from man and woman. The scale of importance can vary considerably for one or the other but statistically the majority acknowledges these as the fundamental ones. They are:

Affection has a lot to do with the attention of the spouse who communicates with his wife, in different ways, how he appreciates her not only in physical appeals. On the other hand, for her, sexual satisfaction will be felt in a more intense manner as she feels highly considered and protected by her husband. In the same way for the man it is important to be coddled by his partner and involving her in many other things in order to strengthen their relationship and renders it more profound.

For the spouse it is of a paramount importance to count and lean on him, in the sense that he shouldn’t hide himself but share with her his thoughts and plans. He is expected to be dedicated and be caring for her and the family. This is not only intended in the sense of bringing home money but also in contributing in the education of the children. It is also important that she does not let herself down but she takes care of herself so as to remain an attractive woman in all senses. He will be happy if she looks pretty by dressing well or by using some make up or by looking after her body. All this may show love and respect for him. A man is motivated by the admiration he might deserve from her.

This need is often undermined or ignored, but if his wife gives him emotional support, continuous encouragement and the admiration for the qualities he conserves, he, as husband, will offer the best of himself. This is testified by many biographies of famous men. Exactly due to the diversity of needs, the two have difficulties in getting used to each other. In the beginning a man can really have in mind the desire to satisfy the needs of his partner, but if he thinks (unconsciously) that, all he wants is the same as his partner wants or likes, then it will be a disappointment for her. Therefore a sincere communication and a deep dialogue will be necessary, if he wants a reciprocal comprehension and a mutual completion of the needs of both.

These reflections are the product of my own convictions which are also confirmed by some of my friends I have talked to.